First Morn
First MornGrey dawnVenus aboveI stride out Breath a cloud of smokeAnd as Venus and her companion starFade, saying, farewell, farewellThe sky is touched with deep purpleFading to azure,Fading to deep...
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Wonderfully vivid piece.....Welcome to Scented Gardens Jared, hope to see more of your work here...RB
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Zjared, well written. I can understand why this made the poem of the week.RGAt times my rhymes are crimes!
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I liked this Jared, you seem to have encompassed the whole majesty of the dawn within the piece as the words travel on... really good.Btw - why don't you visit the All in a pen forum too, it'd be good...
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oh, what a wonderful hymn to dawn, so poetic and spiritual, colourful, lively -- I love this poem, Jared!very very good! sheer beauty in wording and rhythm!Cassia
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